Keys to defining your circles of influence and being mindful of your inner circle

We are often told that we become the average of the five people we spend the most time with. You are probably thinking of your best friends or family, but the truth is we often spend the most time with colleagues.

If the people in your circle have such a profound effect, you really should be choosing carefully about who you keep in your inner circle.

You should have the following in your inner circle:

People who believe in YOU

You need those people who know you and with whom you have shared your dreams. People who not only believe in what they can see, but who know and believe in the potential that is lying dormant in you. People who know you will achieve your goals and in moments when you doubt yourself, they jump up to remind you of your journey and what you are capable of. These people believe in you until you are able to believe in you.

People with BIG Goals

Your inner circle needs people who dream big, have WOW goals and are actively seeking success in achieving those goals. These people are constant reminders to you not to give up. They also will not let you give up. You are able to collaborate and discuss and abundantly share networks. At no time should you put these people on a pedestal, but let them remind you not to settle for small, average and blah.

People who offer practical help

Here you need people who totally understand that we do not float along on pink, fluffy clouds. Some days and some moments are challenging and we are not always “Happy”. These people listen to your challenges and the day’s upsets. They understand. They do not try and fix. Instead they are “just there” and they practically make dinner, fetch the kids, pour wine, hand out chocolate, dish up ice cream and even mop up your tears. It is very important though, after some time, they will gently remind you that you have goals to achieve and there is no obstacle that cannot be conquered.

Professional people

These are people who you pay to assist you in achieving your goals. They could be a gym (or exercise) instructor, business and personal coach, voice trainer, skills trainer, facilitator, mediator, doctor, lawyer and so many more. Why are these people important you may ask? Well they do not lose sight of what they are being paid for and that is to ensure that you do the work to reach your goals. When you have a moment of feeling sorry for yourself and deciding to give up on your goals or you think you aren’t good enough, they are there to empathise. It is important to mention that they do not sympathise. They understand the situation but call you to action and ask you what you are going to do in order to move forward.


Please do stock-take on your inner circle. Who did you find? Do you have those who do not believe in you or themselves and would not even notice if you needed someone to listen to you? Do they drain the energy out of you and seem to always take and never give?

It is time to move away from anyone who detracts from you reaching your goals and being your best self. These goals can and should include you growing personally. You can do this by walking away or diluting their effect by bringing in more of the above categories of people. Look for people who add to who you are and are worthy of being in your Inner Circle.